Love, marriage, and baby carriage

I loved this great talk by Tracy McMillan and can certainly relate to the stark contrast between…

The fairy tale

The fairy tale

and

Reality

Reality of relationships

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Planning for divorce

We plan for getting married; we plan for having children.  We plan for floods and earthquakes even if they are not expected to happen in our lifetime. Given the percentage of marriage break ups, why do we not plan for divorce?

We could plan for how we will treat each other;  What we can expect; Who will keep what; How the children will be managed; What we will never do to each other…

If you cannot plan this amicably and rationally with your fiance, should you really be getting married? On the other hand, if you can safely confront this with your partner then you will probably go the distance.

What goes around, comes around

No, this isn’t yet another warning encouraging you to only have protected sex and the dangers of sexually transmitted infections. It’s about past relationships!

I once endured verbal abuse from a partner when he discovered that I had several relationships before him. I was old enough to have had that many, but still too young to know it was nothing to be ashamed of. I felt ashamed that my relationship attempts had not endured the test of time, despite the fact that in most cases I was not the first to stop trying, or the one to cheat. Another lover admitted to being irrationally jealous of my previous partners: “why did you go with them?” he said “you should have waited for me”… the only problem being we had not yet met!
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