Great expectations

While contemplating my romantic history one day, I realized that I’d had four serious long-term relationships in a row… all colossal failures, or at least by my definition of failure at that time. By ‘serious’ I mean involving co-habitation and/or marriage; and by long-term I mean lasting longer than 2 years… so much for ‘happily ever after’.

Of the four, three ended because he found another romantic interest (either for sex or for falling madly in love with) and I’m not used to sharing my man. Continue reading “Great expectations”

Ethical polygamy?

To date, I have not had a single romantic relationship (and for me that means with a man) which has been easy or without compromise. I sometimes analyse the strengths and weaknesses of past relationships and past partners: what went well, what needed improvement, and what ultimately led to its demise. Sometimes what led to a relationship’s demise was the relationship’s beginning i.e. one that should never have started… a clear case of wrong partner – wrong time. Other times it was almost perfect if only he could have been a little more_______ , or I could have been a little more tolerant, understanding, patient, mature, confident, assertive, etc.
Continue reading “Ethical polygamy?”

What goes around, comes around

No, this isn’t yet another warning encouraging you to only have protected sex and the dangers of sexually transmitted infections. It’s about past relationships!

I once endured verbal abuse from a partner when he discovered that I had several relationships before him. I was old enough to have had that many, but still too young to know it was nothing to be ashamed of. I felt ashamed that my relationship attempts had not endured the test of time, despite the fact that in most cases I was not the first to stop trying, or the one to cheat. Another lover admitted to being irrationally jealous of my previous partners: “why did you go with them?” he said “you should have waited for me”… the only problem being we had not yet met!
Continue reading “What goes around, comes around”